| WHAT TO WATCH

'Married' Finalists Await America's Answer

By Daniel Fienberg

Sunday, April 13, 2003

10:00 PM PT

Viewers willing to ignore the flaws of "Married By America" -- the lackluster in-studio premiere, perplexingly inconsistent rules and gleeful general immorality -- have witnessed one of the guiltiest pleasures ever on a network prone to guilty pleasures. There were nasty fights, graphic and glib sex therapists, family visits from hell, bachelor and bachelorette parties in Las Vegas and enough on-camera premarital nookie to fill several soap operas.

Now, with the finale airing Monday night (April 14), only two couples remain. Energetic blonde NYC artist/bartender Billie Jeanne and Los Angeles-based car salesman Tony are joined by Long Island hockey hostess/announcer Jill and square-jawed, former minor league baseball player Kevin.

From their absurd beginnings, where the men kneeled in front of translucent doors and put engagement rings on the fingers of women they had never seen before, Jill and Kevin, and Billie Jeanne and Tony always felt like the favorites. Right from the beginning, physical attraction was evident.

"He was very sweet and his proposal was incredible, totally melted me," Jill tells Zap2it.com. "As each little second of the door came up it was just anticipation and when the door finally came up, I was very happy with what I saw."

"I was incredibly happy, incredibly," says Tony of Billie Jeanne. "She was beautiful, of course, gorgeous. Tall. She just had all that life energy just blasting right out of her. It was great. I just grabbed her and gave her a kiss and gave her a hug. It was just crazy."

True craziness came afterwards, as the couples had weeks of little more than getting to know each other and planning for a marriage to a complete stranger.

"I was kidding the camera guy, 'This must be so boring for you guys because all we do is lay around outside and have cocktails and hang out,'" Tony recalls. Early episodes, though, skipped those casual moments, focusing on pixelated prime-time naughtiness. Tony, amused, points out that it could have been worse.

"We were probably a little more modest than we would have been had the cameras not been there," he insists. "I like to be naked. Billie Jeanne likes to be naked. Together. Separately. And so we obviously would have been much more naked, I think."

That reliance on passion produced antagonism with the show's panel of relationship experts: Dr. Jenn Berman, Don Ellium and the straight-talking Miss P. Tony remains derisive.

"I'd never heard of these people before," he says. "One guy [Ellium] looked like Kenny Rogers, so all I could think of was 'The Gambler.' I don't know what makes a person a relationship expert."

Jill and Kevin, in less danger from the panel, used those meetings to size up the other couples.

"I saw tension between Stephen and Denise," Jill says. "Xavier and Jen, lots of tension. Matt and Cortez were hysterical, they were just comical. They were the first couple to go obviously and you could just see that they weren't getting along, that they had no chemistry and no feeling for each other."

The biggest test in their relationship came in the show's sixth episode when Jill and Kevin visited her family in Long Island. It was mere minutes before Jill's father, clad in a wife-beater, launched into the first of several tirades that included the dread-phrase "under my roof." Kevin calling Jill "sweetie" was enough to produce an explosion. Things were even worse when Kevin's straight-laced conservative family showed up, bringing their own concerns. While at the time, she described it as "like if George and Barbara Bush met the Sopranos," Jill gets a kick out of the episode now, as does her father.

"He's too funny," she laughs. "He's like, 'They're making me look like I'm some big Italian hard-ass' and my dad is so not. He's very protective of me, which I think is kinda cute. The other side of him is this loving incredible person and that's the side they didn't get to see of him. That's my dad, though. He walks around in his underwear with his chest hair hanging out and my mom yelling at him to put his shirt on."

Billie Jeanne and Tony may have avoided conflicts because of her steadfast faith in their relationship, a confidence that survived Tony?s bachelor party tryst with a stripper, when he uttered the immortal line, "There's nothing wrong with kissing a stripper before you're married. Kissing a stripper after you're married? That's when the trouble begins."

"I smooched one of the girls and she was real sweet and we hit it off," he says now. "It was very innocent and I had no problems telling Billie Jeanne afterwards. She was fine with it at first, then she thought about it and had some questions for me, which was understandable."

Back in the outside world, the couples face changed lives. Jill, now recognized in the street, has to decide if she wants to continue her broadcasting career in New York, or move to California. Tony retains hope that he'll be able to hold on to some of his former anonymity.

"I've been out with Jill and Kevin, Billie Jeanne and I have been out," he say. "Kevin gets recognized just because he's tall. Jill's got the breasts, she'd get recognized regardless. Billy Jeanne gets recognized because of the blonde hair, the smile, her eyes. I'm the stepbrother. People are all, 'I know you. Sorta. Kinda. Something about TV. 'Cops?'"

The majority of the show's finale has already been shot and the hypothetical double wedding has already occurred. All that's left to be decided is who wins the grand prize of a car and a cash prize, with the possibility of a house, should the marriage last. After last week's show, the American people voted on which couple they want to stay together. If that couple said "I Do," they'll win, if they didn't, no prize will be given out. The couple that loses the vote will receive nothing, even if they actually married.

Both couples protest that the prize is meaningless, compared to the experience.

"If people vote for Jill and Kevin, God bless 'em," Tony says, responding to a Fox.com poll showing overwhelming support for that couple. "For Billie Jeanne and I, it's never been about winning anything. It's not about winning the house, the car, the money. It really isn't. It's the fact that we found somebody we enjoy being with."

"If we can really fall in love and be together and think that we can live together and get married, that's what it should be about," Jill agrees, "It shouldn't be about the money."

Those are noble statements to sum up a show that had such fun being ignoble.

The two-hour finale of "Married by America" airs Monday, April 14 at 8 p.m. ET on FOX.